We agreed that nothing surmounted those two nights with Linea and Markus.Sitting outside the guesthouse, under a parasol, Petra hid behind sunglasses. Happy in the silence between us, I reflected on how life felt now compared to then. This life of easy sexual excess and non-committal companionship rendered my mistress long forgotten. Enjoying the warm embrace of what drove me; I knew what inspired me, and who I was. As comfortable as my favourite pair of jeans, I vowed never to go back to the pale-skinned lily-livered creature I was.“You know Harry,” the soft lilt of her accent as soothing as the sea breeze, “someone told me that everyone should have a purpose.”“An ex-lover?”Petra nodded, “Yes, he was smart but not so much in bed.”Raising my eyebrows, I smiled, “What is your purpose Petra?”She took a sip from the straw in her drink; her stare never wavered from mine.“To fuck.” Her lips curled, a half-snarl and half-invitation, “I wait on tables to find new sexual partners, I. I ‘came out’ to Dom because my feelings for him were clouded in a shadow of taboo, not primarily due to the same-sex nature—it was Southern California after all—but because of our fraternal bond through our chapter. I knew, however, I could never discern how I truly felt for Dom without knowing that attraction between us could even be possible. Was there something more, or was this just another ‘homiesexual’ act that Dom was putting on? I guess I hoped that sharing with Dom that I had been attracted to guys in the past, and thought that I was again might provide the space for Dom to share the same. He didn’t. But it was clear that something was still left unsaid between us. Numerous times, Dom opened his mouth as if to speak, but shut it again. He was holding my hand as we sat facing each other on the couch. Except for the occasional glance up, he couldn’t bring his eyes to meet mine, leaving them instead to watch his hand cover mine and hold it tightly. We sat in silence for a.
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